Dia 36/ Day 36

Dic 31.
Es el cambio de folio.
Despierto adolorida. Padre despierta nervioso.
Nervioso porque quiere irse de nuevo a buscar casas conmigo.
Nervioso porque quiere irse a Arica lo mas rápido posible.
Nervioso porque le digo que no. Que yo no voy. Que estoy cansada.Que tengo cosas que hacer acá, y que creo que,  ahora ya no tendrán tiempo de comprar una. Tendran que arrendar un tiempo.
El insiste que estoy equivocada.
Me harto. Me grita.
Me voy. Decido en ese mismo momento ir a pasar el año nuevo con amigos a la playa aun cuando me siento pésimo.
Estoy harta,
y me voy. Me voy algo molesta. Me voy algo asustada porque si, estoy adolorida, estoy asustada,
el zumbido en mi oido no me deja en paz.

Atravieso a mediodía Stgo completo en metro.
Yo había quedado de cocinar. Trato de no sentirme culpable, cambio esa sensación por sentirme joven. Creo que tanto mejor.

Joven.

Dec 31th
Its New year´s eve.
I woke up with pain. Father woke up nervous.

Nervous because he wants to go again to the north faster as posible.
Nervous because Y said no. That I m not going a long. That I m tired.  That I have to do things here. and, that I think, the time is short for buy a house now. That maybe they are going to rent something meanwhile
He insist I m wrong.
I m done. He get mad.
I m going out.  I decide then went with my friends to their shore house to have this new year coming, even when I feel very  bad in all senses.
I m done. I went away. I went a little bit anger,, and a little scared, because I feel pain in my spine, and I have a buzzing in my inner ear that doesnt stop.

I cross whole  Santiago on the subway.
I remember to told that I was going to make the supper for the night. I try to doesnot feel quilty, I change the emotion for being young. I think is a nice change.

Young.